Sebastian Weber

Sebastian was an unfortunate child, born with features only a mother (with great discipline and a strong stomach) could love, he spent most of his early days being relentlessly teased – even by individuals only slightly better looking than himself. No surprise, then, that after a lifetime of suffering and pain Sebastian would continue the tradition.

When he came of age, he decided to begin his university career studying mathematics in New Mexico, USA. The terrors of binomial expansion and higher order differential equations became routine, inundating his young brain with the rigors of logical thinking. Thankfully, Sebastian, now moderately more attractive, managed to excise himself from a life of number-filled misery by completing a psychology degree in England. It is here that he experienced the pleasure of afternoon tea and learned that bad teeth are no sin. Finally, world-weary, but obviously none-the-wiser, he returned to Germany with a firmly formed plan that his life should end the way it began: in naked, screaming, misery. And so he enrolled in another mathematics degree course at the University of Ulm.

Sebastian is an individual of stalwart honesty, a paragon of discipline and exemplifies the world-renowned German work ethic. A man of brevity and wit, he is not given to hyperbole. In his free time Sebastian enjoys pursuing activities of great import and relevance, not just to himself, but the human race as a whole. Activities such as breaking up fights between rival gangs, or rescuing kittens from trees. Unless that kitten is a dick, and decides to scratch. Then it can stay right where the hell it is.